Saturday, October 2, 2010

Something for which I need to forgive myself

Originally, I didn't know what I was going to write here. I try very hard to not live my life with regrets. I work hard to live in a way that I can be proud of....

There are two things I can think of though. Things that I feel "niggling" inside of me.

This one isn't so much something I need to forgive, but something that does cause me regret from time to time. Occasionally I speak without thinking it out fully. I stand behind what I say...but sometimes my delivery sucks, or my tactfulness is lacking. Looking back, I tend to be able to see when I've done this...and I try to apologize when I mis-speak.

The thing that I need to forgive in myself is that I always put myself last. I get presents from preschool parents, and I give them away. I get gift cards, and I spend them on others. I never buy new clothes for myself...in fact, I can't remember the last time I bought clothes from a real store...not Goodwill. (Yes, it's a "green" choice to make, but mine stems more from things being "just good enough" for me.) Several months ago, I went out and bought a new purse and wallet, and it was a BIG deal. I never EVER get my haircut...not because I'm growing it out, but because I just don't make myself a priority.

This is not ok anymore. I don't want Shannon to grow up thinking that SHE isn't worth taking care of, why is that ok for me???

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

It's easy as a mom to feel guilty when you do something for you. But sometimes you gotta take care of you - so that you can be ok to take care of everybody else. :) Cut yourself some slack...enjoy your purse and haircut guilt-free!

Stephanie M. Page said...

Cindy, thanks for such an honest post! I agree with you though, it is so important to take time for you!! =) I am so glad you are back and I am really looking forward to this month about YOU! =)

Kate said...

Sounds like this one really got you thinking.

I think as moms we get so used to putting others before ourselves, but we matter too! I think you should do something JUST.FOR.YOU in the next week and then tell us what you did :-)