Saturday, August 18, 2012

Sinking in

For those who are new to my blog, a little background.

My parents live with us. They moved in almost two years ago. Last summer my Dad had triple bypass surgery, and then dealt with a pain syndrome and hospitalization into the early fall. He has Alzheimer's disease and COPD. Their house in CA has been on the market for two YEARS and two months. About two weeks ago, it thankfully went into escrow. We are hoping and praying that the sale goes through without trouble.

 On Thursday, we received his sad diagnosis of small cell lung cancer. It has metastasized to his liver already. This spread of disease is called "extensive," providing a very grim prognosis. I found this information online later that evening:

"For extensive stage small cell lung cancer the median survival with treatment is 6 to 12 months, and only 2 to 4 months without treatment."

I may have said all this the other day. I apologize.

The next thing I wanted to say is that...this is starting to sink in. For all of us. And it's sad. Deeply sad. It's the kind of sad that you just can't get away from or make better. We are attempting to do some fun things with him, and make the best of each day...but we're all just sort of still in disbelief. Like...this does not compute. Listening to my mom on the phone yesterday, setting up his chemo schedule was surreal. Dad? Chemo? Wait. What?

In slightly better news, today my mom also set up her flight to CA in October to finish packing up their household belongings, and arranging the moving truck, etc. My sister lives in CA and will be going with her to help. We are so hopeful that my Dad will still be stable enough that Mom will feel like she can leave him for a week.

I want to write about my feelings about starting school on Monday...but my brain just isn't going there tonight. I'll try again tomorrow.


1 comment:

Toesinthesand said...


I just found your blog through Holly's 300PoundsDown blog. I liked your comment about "Don't go looking for trouble."

I am the what-if, whirlwind, over-analyzing and paralysis-inducing thinker too!

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. If you have Netflix check out the video on the Gerson treatment, maybe?

I lost my mom a year ago. Actually, it was just a year ago on Saturday. I know how hard it is to face. I know how hard it is to watch your parent be ill, to take care of them as if you are the parent, and to know your time is short.

Nothing will make it easier, however I hope it will be some comfort to you to tell you that I look at my mom's last several weeks as a blessing. She was in hospice care. We knew it was close. We were able to come together as a family, to maximize her last few weeks, to deluge her with family time. I encourage you to do this.

If your dad goes into remission or is cured by the grace of God, then you have not lost anything by treasuring your time with him.

If your dad goes home to heaven, you will always treasure the time you spent.

It's ok to be sad, but try to let go of sad and be present.

I don't know you but I'll be thinking of you.

Take care,