Tested

I've recently started a Beth Moore study on Insecurity, and as we know...lots of times when you start making progress in a certain area of your life, suddenly you are put to the test...in just that area! The other ladies in the study had even talked about "expecting" the tests to come, and to be mentally prepared for it, etc.

Boy oh boy, were they right. Yesterday was a doozy of a day. I had a meeting to attend, and the whole thing was just a giant downer. I spent a lot of it thinking "are they talking about me?" I even caught myself thinking that I felt insecure, and adjusted my self-talk...but man. So that was rough, and then later in the evening, Patrick made a joke about a subject we just don't tend to joke about. I was still deflated after the meeting, and was PMS'ing...and I just burst into tears. So then, he got frustrated that I "over-reacted." I hate it when I get that feeling that I just can't communicate effectively. So frustrating.

We talked it out, and everything is fine...but good Lord. I went to bed feeling vulnerable and bruised.

It's 3:15 and so far today has been OK...but I'm just just "wary" feeling.